Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
