i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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