Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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