Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
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when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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