this just has baby written all over it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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