I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
