Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
