i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize