You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
