Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My life is pants optional.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
