just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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