I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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