Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
