I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize