I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
