She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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