There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
