I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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