He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize