my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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