can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
