moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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