she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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