I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
