The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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