Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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