whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
