i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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