I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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