We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize