oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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