I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
