What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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