cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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