Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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