if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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