This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
