Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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