You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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