The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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