Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
