There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have tasted many bathrooms
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
