i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
