Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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