I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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