Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize