why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sext me about skeletons
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
