Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
