3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize