Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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