I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
