...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
