i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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