Just cropdusted the office
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
