If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
