i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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