I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
