put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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