its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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